Falling
by Rashaka
Summary: A one-shot. My first IY fic. Season 1. Kagome reflects on her relationship with InuYasha. No promises for prize-winning literature, but there is some kissing!


The song belongs to Alicia Keys, and woman with a beautiful voice for soul.  
The characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.  
The inspiration for this belongs to me.

* * *

**Falling**

She reached out a hand to touch the mirror. With one pale finger she traced a curve on the vision before her, her eyes empty. Strangely, her face was blank, and her mouth expressionless. Reaching the chin of the reflection, she brought her finger up on the other side, and slowly slid it down the opposite jaw line. With the same finger she traced the outline of the lips, the curve of the eyes.

"You really do look like her, you know."

_I keep on falling in and out  
With you  
Sometimes I love you  
Sometimes you make me blue  
Sometimes I feel good  
And times I feel used  
Loving you darlin' makes me so confused_

Kagome jumped back. She stumbled on a pen she'd dropped on the carpet earlier, then caught her balance. She brought her eyes up to the boy-demon-monster-hero-thing sitting halfway in her window. She kept her face cold. Kagome thought she'd explained to him that she needed few days in her world. Obviously the nine sits hadn't been enough of a deterrent as she had hoped. And now here he was, saying exactly what she didn't want to hear.

"Yes, I suppose so. After all, everyone seems to think so. I guess… I guess they are right."

He titled his head to the side, "Especially when you look like that."

"Like what?" she snapped.

"Like that. Unhappy. Cold. Angry. She was never really happy either."

_I keep on falling in and out of love  
With you  
I never loved someone the way that I  
Love you_

She huffed and briskly turned away from his molten gold gaze, walking over to her desk. Kagome began shoving papers around, pretending to look for something. So what if she looked like her when she was unhappy? She WAS unhappy. He never wanted her around except to act as his shard-detector. And the adventure part was getting old. Sure she had gotten in way better shape, and she loved Shippou and the others… but she hated being away from her home like this for so long. And she couldn't be happy to be around Inuyasha when all he saw in her was a dead woman and the means to an end.

Kagome was surprised when she heard a faint sigh behind her, from the window. "So unhappy. That's the real difference I guess."

Kagome stiffened her back. She turned slowly, to the half-demon across the small room. He sat there, his back to the outside world, his feet dangling from his place on her windowsill, looking sadly at the pale blue carpet. Without her concession or her approval, Kagome's eyes softened at the image he made. Then he shook her head, and turned away fiercely. She wasn't going to feel sorry for him when he was bemoaning _her_.

_I've never felt this way  
How do you give me so much pleasure  
And cause me so much pain?  
Cause when I think  
I'm taken for the fool  
I start falling back in love with you_

Kagome grabbed her pen—the same one she'd tripped over earlier—and turned back around quickly, gripping it tightly in her knuckles. Her eyes were closed and her jaw was set, ready to say something important, though she wasn't really sure what yet. Then she opened her eyes, and he was right THERE.

Inuyasha stood, bare inches from her, invading her personal space like he belonged there. From her position, Kagome barely reached his nose. Her eyes were level with his chin. She looked up, startled almost out of her simmering irritation. "Wha—?" she began, but was immediately cut of when he moved forward.

His hands were holding tightly to her upper arms, and Kagome found herself grateful for the support. The kiss was gentle, but strong. He wasn't taking, he was asking. But he was asking with power. With intention. Kagome stood frozen in his hold, unable to break away, unable to kiss him back, unable to think coherently about either. His lips were soft, and he smelled of sweat and sandalwood and cedar. And thyme. Why would he smell like thyme? She couldn't think. She had always loved the smell of cedar. Like her mother's old chest. It was a fresh scent that brought thoughts of trees and wet cleansing rains and dew on leaves and… and… kami why couldn't she move?

_I keep on falling in and out of love  
with you  
I never loved someone the way that I  
love you_

He broke away from her lips, taking one step back. She opened her eyes dazedly, still frozen in the same place she had been when the kiss began. His hands squeezed her arms once, then dropped heavily to his sides. It was all Kagome could do to keep standing on her own. That was her first kiss. Inuyasha had given her her first kiss.

His gold gaze was filled with some kind of emotion as he stared into her large brown eyes. Kagome didn't know what to make of it. He looked afraid, and angry, and yet sad. More sad than anything.

"I'm—I'm sorry," he spoke softly. "I'm sorry, I—I just wanted to know what—what it would be like, once. Just once. I'm sorry." He took another step back, nervous at her silence.

_I… I… I… I'm fallin'  
Fallin'_  
_Fallin'_

Kagome's mouth closed and she tried to keep the tears hovering at the edge of her vision from leaking outward. She didn't think it would hurt this much. Your first kiss wasn't supposed to hurt.

She forced her mouth open, to speak. Kagome forced herself to say it. "Were you— were you kissing me, or kissing her?"

Inuyasha's lips fell wide, and his mouth moved without any sound coming out. His eyes were so gold and so wide, he looked young. He seemed unable to answer—or afraid to. Kagome could feel her heart ripping in the aching silence between them. No matter how this ended tonight, she was destined to cry.

_I keep on falling in and out of love  
With you  
I never loved someone the way that I  
Love you_

"Inu-yasha..." His fear seemed to manifest itself between them, as physical to Kagome as any shard. But she wasn't used to seeing him afraid. Afraid, and still… still sad. Like he had already lost something.

"I… I was kissing you."

He turned and jumped out her window, like a ghost. Kagome stared at the open widow, a slight breeze lifting the curtains and blowing them toward her. There was only darkness beyond it, a nothingness that Inuyasha had willingly disappeared into. A soft bang echoed from the kitchen below her, muffled as it passed the walls up to her room. Her brother Sota was home, back from a friend's. Kagome leaned against the wall next to the window, and slid down to the floor. She buried her face in her knees, and wept.

_I keep on falling in and out of love  
With you  
I never loved someone the way that I  
Love you_


End file.
